The Night of the Disturbed Gamer
In a dimly lit room is where we find our hero. Online, he goes by many names, some mythical and some mythically absurd, but IRL he’s known as Aqiul, legendary nerd. He’s at his computer(as usual) playing some new-fangled game(RIFT), killing what he sees without a thought of compassion or pity. Suddenly, a loud crash! The noise seems to have originated from outside his zone of concentration(the monitor). The noise seems to have not affected our hero, the killing and slashing continues. Another crash! This time our hero turns his head and gives that deep stare. One might think our hero is telepathic and is trying to read the minds of whoever it is that is causing this ruckus, interrupting important online butchery of pixels. But it isnt so.
After a few mins of staring at nothingness, our hero gets up and goes to the window, where he sees a few people running, no not running, you wouldnt call this running he thinks. Its more like they’re failing at running. Our hero chuckles. Then he notices that one of the oddly limping persons is eating someone’s brain with his pinky finger! He wants to laugh at this ridiculousness when our hero’s survival instinct kicks in. He knows what this is! He’s planned for this ever since he saw Night of the Living Dead all those years ago. The Zombie Apocalypse! He thinks to himself “Game on, bitches!”
He quickly runs to the kitchen, enters the secret code on the microwave “1337″. The marble flooring starts to move with a shudder, then the movement becomes fluid and a hidden staircase is revealed. Our hero quickly descends down the stairs to a room that has even more computers than before! One might call it insanity, our hero refers to it as “cool shit!”. Our hero puts on a pair of fancy headphones, starts up ventrilo and logs on to the “Emergency Zombie Broadcast Zerver” hereon referred to as EZBZ(When asked why not Server, our hero said “Because Z is cool!”) The server quickly seems to be filling up with people from around the globe reporting incidents of Zombie Insubordination Acts(ZIA, because it sounds like CIA..sigh). Our hero, being a hero and all, calls for silence and proceeds to give his speech.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the time of reckoning. We have prepared for this for years, we’ve trained for this in L4D and in L4D2(with better graphics wooo!). We all even played the secret zombie levels in BlackOps till we got bored of Kennedy, but we are prepared.” Our hero pauses for a breath, and downs a glass of Mountain Dew mixed with Red Bull. He continues “Prepare for Emergency Plan Delta Gamma Beta! Happy Hunting!”
With those last words, a total of 17 million gamers worldwide step out of their mother’s basements armed with shotguns and enough shells to put a beach to shame. The Zombie Apocalypse ended in 4 minutes.
Our hero then returns to his computer, and continues playing his new-fangled game. As if nothing happened.
